The Star - Truth & Queer Honesty
The Star undoubtedly represents the dreamy quality of ideals, freedom, liberation, and peace with the subconscious. When I have seen The Star, even before learning much about tarot, I have been in awe of the way the figure's nudity represents such unrestricted existence. There is no shame, nor fear here in the world of The Star. In this haven we see someone completely unafraid of their own form.
If you are trans or gender nonconforming, this probably just rang a bell for you, as it does for me. Whether or not you have dysphoria, or feel discomfort with yourself in a way described by typical trans narratives, feeling unashamed and unfearful is an ideal that seems all too far off for us. Physical violence, objectification, stigma, and internalized transphobia all act as barriers to the pure existence present on this card. Even when the figure, arguably meant to be a cisgender woman, does not represent a body I can identify with, this card draws me in. I crave that unashamed truth of self. I crave that unafraid vulnerability.
The reality is, this place on The Star? It doesn't exist. This idealist world, frozen in time, where the water flows forever and no danger ever comes? It's not literal (as we can all probably imagine). When I see The Star, I see a symbolic landscape that manifests in our lives through moments. That vulnerable truth comes to us through honesty. Tender moments between lovers, friends, family. Self care, even when it means being a harsh, stopping harmful patterns and lies in their tracks. It is a head on your shoulder. Fingers in your palm. A moment of silence with your body. Prayer in a church, or at your altar.
For trans and GNC people, I see this as being heard. The sound of a casual conversation about gender, sexuality, spirituality, discrimination, love, growth, taking place in public. I see this in community, the way we can heal our fears together when we create safe, healing spaces. I see this in the individual, moments of sanctuary with our own minds, hearts, and bodies.
Truth can look like a lot of things, but the point is Truth is the gateway to freedom as we see on the card. Truth shows us things how they are, so we can form opinions and act on our desires. I am reminded here of a passage from Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom by Rachel Pollack:
"At any moment, we think we are free to do whatever we want. But our supposedly free choices are governed by our past actions. If we do not understand ourselves, how can we expect to make a free choice?"
The Star is a window to accessing our truths. Our truths about our bodies, our desires, our love, our sexuality, etc. etc. etc. Infinite truths that we are often taught to hide, or hate, or attempt to destroy. But we cannot destroy what we are. It will always be there, asking to be seen, heard, and loved.
Tonight I read and took notes on the chapter on The Star from Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom. And promptly after finishing, I channeled this drawing. It is a Star card of my own, a beacon for manifesting my Truths through honesty. I draw myself as I am, and I draw myself nude. I draw myself with body hair, I draw myself with no breasts but with no penis. I draw myself with hips. I draw myself with fat.
As I looked over this drawing I could see even in it lies dishonesty. The number of scars, the amount of fat, the length of my hair. I enact "wishful thinking" onto my image without even knowing it. And here we come back to The Star's representation of wishes and ideals. Truth and ideals can coincide here. Ideals that are truthful tell us about what we desire. Ideals that are not truthful tell us about what we think we desire. I don't want less fat, I want to not feel ashamed of it. I don't want less scars, I want to not be afraid of them.
And beyond the image, even typing this now I feel the tug of fear. How will this be received? Will this be understood? Am I misguided in my interpretation? Will this be ignored? We ALL do this. We ALL entertain our fears and shames. It isn't unnatural, but it can be unhelpful. At the end of the day we have to remind ourselves of the truth beneath.
I have never seen another image like this one. I have never seen a Star card with a figure that looked like me. That image of pure freedom and peace I looked at in awe from the moment I picked up a tarot deck, now looks like my personal freedom. It is a mirror, a window into a future full of moments like those I described before. Moments of relief from all the pressure and pain of internalized transphobia.
I invite anyone who feels connected to this image, to make or imagine one of their own. Draw, paint, or build an altar to your personal Star. Or even just imagine this world before you. What do you look like and feel like when you can let go of shame and fear? What does this version of your self ask of you? Where can your honesty bring you love and peace? Freedom and elevation?
If you do post about this, please tag me in it or send it to me! I want to hear your thoughts, and see your ideas!
Blessings and best wishes, as always.